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Overheard on the LIRR

Overheard on the LIRR – July 8, 2008 7:22 PM (edited 7/8/08 3:22 PM)
Balerion (1224 posts) Elite Powergamer
Rating: /images/autobot.gif + 2
So, on the train back to Brooklyn on Saturday night Sandy and I, and the entire train car we were in, were the unwitting audience to some fantastic live entertainment. There was more to it than what I wrote below, but this is all I'm remembering at the moment.


The main cast of this audience is:

"Nicky" - 70 something year old Italian guy with a lump the size of a tennis ball on his forehead that still oozes blood and blood splatters all over his shirt

Undercover Sista - Mid 20s black girl with some serious snarkiness going on

Conductor - Not very cool guy who is aware that he got to be on center stage briefly and totally hammed it up

And so our story begins when Nicky gets onto the train and lays down on the three seats opposite the three seats that Undercover Sista and her two friends were sitting. Assume that everything spoken is said very loudly, so as to be heard by everyone in the car.

Undercover Sista: Shit! What the hell did you do to yourself!?
Nicky: Why you bother me? You need to ask questions?
Undercover Sista: Hell, a guy sits in front of me with blood all over his shirt and a wound on his head I’m gonna check if he’s alright! What happened? You get in a fight?
Nicky: I’m 76 years old and I’ve never lost a fight. You know how? I never been in a fight!
Undercover Sista: So you sayin’ some stairs kicked the shit out of you huh?
Nicky: <vague mumbling>
Undercover Sista: You go to the hospital for that?
Nicky: Yeah
Undercover Sista: They give you stitches? How many stitches they give you? Sixty?
Nicky: Three
Undercover Sista: Three!? That ain’t no three, that’s like eighty five stitches!
Nicky: No, was three!
Undercover Sista: Give me yo discharge papers!
<he hands them over, she reads them for a bit>
Nicky: What they say?
Undercover Sista: They say you got the shit kicked out of you and they patched you up! They give you any medicine?
Nicky: <long pause> I got some marijuana

--Later in the Conversation--

Conductor: Hey, where you getting off at?
Nicky: <mumbles incoherently>
Conductor: You got a ticket?
Undercover Sista: Yeah he’s got a ticket! Cops gave him one earlier
<general laughter>
Conductor: Yeah, I walked into that one
Nicky: I got something here I want to show you
<Nicky starts reaching in grubby pants pocket>
Conductor: I’m not sure I want to see this
Nicky: No, when you see this you say, “Nicky, you are the super”
<Nicky pulls out an MTA employee ID and hands it to the conductor, train car bursts into applause>
Conductor: Well then I guess you can get off wherever you like
Undercover Sista: Shit son! That’s the hook up. You can get drunk anywhere on Long Island and still get home at night.


_________________________________________________
I really think the three “!”s really captures the exuberance that Clair must have been feeling when he almost said it. -Cuzzo
Re: Overheard on the LIRR – July 8, 2008 7:29 PM (edited 7/8/08 3:29 PM)
Cuzzdog (1522 posts) Head of Gamer Corner R&D
Rating: Not Rated
That's a much more entertaining train ride than when Katie and I got in an empty subway car and just before taking off someone sat down opposite us and promptly put his one hand in his coat like he was about to draw a gun at any moment. When we finally got our stop Katie just looked at me and asked "Did you think we were going to die too?" I absolutely believed it the whole ride.

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