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Why I don't go on cruises

Why I don't go on cruises – August 13, 2009 2:57 PM (edited 8/13/09 10:57 AM)
chaoscat (452 posts) Ambassador of Good Will
Rating: Not Rated
Cuzzo asked, and I figured I might as well reply in public, since there was some talk about people not backing up their claims. Here are the first 27 reasons I don't do cruises. (Actually, a few reasons were censored for public consumption, and filled in with later reasons, but you'll never know the difference).

1 - I hate being around strangers.
2 - I don't do "vacation activities".
3 - Cruises are expensive relative to my usual camping vacation.
4 - In good weather, my choices of environment are sun and air conditioning. I don't like either.
5 - I don't like flying.
6 - I don't like salt water.
7 - Being on a surface that moves of its own accord detracts from my ability to enjoy drinking.
8 - Being in public detracts from my ability to enjoy drinking.
9 - Cruises require the wearing of pants (or the equivalent). What good is a vacation where I have to wear pants?
10 - If I decide I'm not feeling well and I want to cut my vacation short, I can't.
11 - Cruises are a "going to" experience, and I prefer "being in" experiences.
12 - Cruises have a higher environmental cost than camping.
13 - I have yet to see a cruise that goes someplace I want to go, mostly because I don't want to go anywhere.
14 - The whole experience seems "fake".
15 - Ships sink, mountains do not sink.
16 - There are no trees on the ship.
17 - Boarding papers, IDs, Passports, etc make me uncomfortable. (It's bad enough they can track my movements with that EZPass.)
18 - Either you're stuck on the boat the whole time, or you have to stress about remembering to get back to the boat before it leaves.
19 - I'd be one of those "cruise people".
20 - It is hard to find a cruise with bathtub Absinthe bootlegged in from Canada.
21 - I'd have to actually be selective about what to bring, rather than my standard "toss a box of books and a sack of clothes in the car" system.
22 - Vacation is a rare opportunity for me to enjoy doing some elaborate cooking; cruises don't really facilitate that.
23 - There are more steps to planning a cruise than going camping (camping is one shopping trip, load the car, and go; cruise involves at a minimum choosing a destination, finding tickets (which involves shopping around for a good price), packing in an airline acceptable way, and getting there)
24 - All I really want out of a vacation is reading, drinking and talking with friends. None of these require, and some are inhibited by, being on a cruise.
25 - I find travel stressful.
26 - Larger commitment of vacation time to a single event than I like.
27 - One glitch in the chain of connecting events to get there can ruin the whole trip


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Why in the world is your title "Ambassador of Good Will"? Is it some attempt at the Guiness Record for Irony?
--Balerion
Re: Why I don't go on cruises – August 13, 2009 3:31 PM (edited 8/13/09 11:31 AM)
Cuzzdog (1522 posts) Head of Gamer Corner R&D
Rating: Not Rated
Ah, I see. It's not so much you hate cruses in particular so much as you just hate non-camping vacations in general. See, I thought you were going to produce 27 cruse specific reasons why you hate cursing (as opposed to just traveling in general) and I only see, at most, 3 cruse only excuses (7, 15, 18). The rest can be applied to vacations other than cruses*.


*Note: For #19, I'm replacing the words "Cruse People" with "Tourist", because I have no idea what a "Cruse People" is.

Re: Why I don't go on cruises – August 13, 2009 3:43 PM (edited 8/13/09 11:43 AM)
chaoscat (452 posts) Ambassador of Good Will
Rating: Not Rated
I think of vacations as a spectrum, with what I like being at one end, and cruises being at the other. Roughly:

Cruises
Resort vacations
Theme parks
Guided tours/Package vacations
Going someplace and picking places to visit based on hotel flyers
Going someplace and wandering around
Going someplace and hanging out with a native who will show you stuff off the beaten path <--- highest point on this chart I'm willing to accept
"Working vacations" (e.g. spending a month working in a winery in France)
"Vacation at home" - stay home and read or play video games for a few days
Visiting friends
Going someplace you can truly forget about day to day life



_________________________________________________
Why in the world is your title "Ambassador of Good Will"? Is it some attempt at the Guiness Record for Irony?
--Balerion
Re: Why I don't go on cruises – August 13, 2009 4:47 PM (edited 8/13/09 12:47 PM)
Airclair (1096 posts) Doesn't Play Well with Others
Rating: Not Rated
I'd like to point out that your acceptable cutoff point is the exact point where horror movies consider themselvese "reality-based horror" and straight "horror". The Ruins, The Descent and Rogue are (very recent) examples of "going someplace and being shown something off the beaten path", whereas Final Destination or I Know What You Did Last Summer are examples of Theme park / Resort vacation horror.

Basically, go on a vacation with Tozzi, end up in a horror movie situation. Go with Cuzzo and all you have to watch out for is Stewie or Willem Dafoe (Speed 2)

Re: Why I don't go on cruises – August 13, 2009 5:16 PM (edited 8/13/09 1:16 PM)
Cuzzdog (1522 posts) Head of Gamer Corner R&D
Rating: Not Rated
Unsurprisingly, we're on completely different ends of the spectrum here. "Going someplace you can truly forget about day to day life" for me is a cruse or resort vacation. I visit friends all the time, so don't really see that as a vacation. "Vacation at home" is the weekend for me Wink I also don't know if I'd call theme parks vacations either. Those are more like day trips. And working vacations are myths. I also don't know too many international natives to show me stuff off the beaten path, so when you said that I pictured exactly the scenarios that Clair was mentioning.

Both Sara and I need structure to our days, so even when we go on vacations, we like to plan out all the fun stuff we're doing far in advance. In fact, I would argue that for us planning out the trip is half the fun of going on vacation to begin with.

Re: Why I don't go on cruises – August 13, 2009 5:37 PM (edited 8/13/09 1:37 PM)
chaoscat (452 posts) Ambassador of Good Will
Rating: Not Rated
Yeah, for me, planning a trip is a huge ball of stress, and I suspect that what you're calling "structure to our days" I think of as "being chained to a schedule". I don't know many people abroad either, but I have an aunt who does, and it seems like the kind of vacation I could get behind, if I had the contacts for it. Also, most of my vacations are extended weekends. I find shorter but more frequent vacations are more relaxing overall for me than long vacations once or twice a year.

To me, the key elements of a vacation are:
1 - not caring what time I wake up
2 - not caring what time I go to bed
3 - not caring what time I start drinking
4 - not having to wear pants

Not all of my trips meet all of my key elements, but that's generally what I try for.

_________________________________________________
Why in the world is your title "Ambassador of Good Will"? Is it some attempt at the Guiness Record for Irony?
--Balerion
Re: Why I don't go on cruises – August 13, 2009 5:41 PM (edited 8/13/09 1:41 PM)
Cuzzdog (1522 posts) Head of Gamer Corner R&D
Rating: Not Rated
It is fairly distressing to hear about the level of importance you put on not wearing pants.

Re: Why I don't go on cruises – August 13, 2009 5:49 PM (edited 8/13/09 1:49 PM)
chaoscat (452 posts) Ambassador of Good Will
Rating: Not Rated
I spent a great deal of money on a kilt with pockets specifically to facilitate not wearing pants, and it's a not insignificant motivating factor in my desire to move out to West Virginia. It is my belief that anyone who cannot go pantsless when they want to is not truly free.

_________________________________________________
Why in the world is your title "Ambassador of Good Will"? Is it some attempt at the Guiness Record for Irony?
--Balerion
Re: Why I don't go on cruises – August 13, 2009 5:58 PM (edited 8/13/09 1:58 PM)
Cuzzdog (1522 posts) Head of Gamer Corner R&D
Rating: Not Rated
Note: I in no way want to know what role these special pockets play in facilitating you not wearing pants.

A further note: You are officially uninvited to any vacations I take in the future.

Re: Why I don't go on cruises – August 13, 2009 6:03 PM (edited 8/13/09 2:03 PM)
chaoscat (452 posts) Ambassador of Good Will
Rating: Not Rated
Would it be inappropriate to declare victory? ah, hell, I'm gonna go ahead and do it.

Victory!

_________________________________________________
Why in the world is your title "Ambassador of Good Will"? Is it some attempt at the Guiness Record for Irony?
--Balerion
Re: Why I don't go on cruises – August 13, 2009 6:09 PM (edited 8/13/09 2:09 PM)
Cuzzdog (1522 posts) Head of Gamer Corner R&D
Rating: Not Rated
I think this is what they call a "Win-Win" situation.

Re: Why I don't go on cruises – August 13, 2009 6:35 PM (edited 8/13/09 2:35 PM)
Balerion (1224 posts) Elite Powergamer
Rating: Not Rated
I realize I kind of missed the moment on this one, but it's worth pointing out (as I'm reading it at the moment) that in the Arabian Nights the Magnetic Mountain does, in fact, sink.

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I really think the three “!”s really captures the exuberance that Clair must have been feeling when he almost said it. -Cuzzo
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