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Night of Champions Predictions

Night of Champions Predictions – September 18, 2011 10:18 PM (edited 9/18/11 6:18 PM)
Talraen (2373 posts) Doesn't Play with Others
Rating: Not Rated
You know what, I realize no one here watches wrestling or cares, but I feel like making some on the record predictions, so I can make fun of myself later. So that's what I'm gonna do! And I'm gonna make some really specific predictions so when I get 23 wrong and one right I can act like some sort of prophet.

Divas Championship: Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly (c)
They're in Beth's hometown of Buffalo and she already lost last month. The whole "Divas of Doom" angle goes nowhere if Kelly Kelly continues to retain, and as awesome as their last match was, Beth's gotta win this one.
Prediction: Beth Phoenix wins cleanly with the Glam Slam

WWE Tag Team Championship: Awesome Truth vs. Air Boom (c)
I love that they're trying to make tag teams mean something again, but I'm torn here. On the one hand, I love the Miz, and R-Truth has been fantastic since his heel turn. As a team, they are hilarious, rapping insults at the crowd and whatnot. I want them to win because they'd be great champions. On the other hand, Air Boom was just recently crowned champions, and quick title changes are not the way to rebuild the legitimacy of the titles. Plus I am prediction mostly heel victories, so the faces have to win somewhere.
Prediction: Air Boom wins, possibly with some sort of shenanigans that feed into Awesome Truth's C-O-N-Spiracy theories

United States Championship: Jack Swagger vs. John Morrison vs. Alex Riley vs. Dolph Ziggler (c)
I can see this match going one of two ways. The way that makes sense is for Swagger to win the championship and Vickie Guerrero to turn on Dolph (or vice-versa). With all the heel victories I'm predicting, it would make sense to turn Swagger face here, but I don't see how that can happen. The other possibility is that one of the faces win, and Ziggler and Swagger continue their feud without the titles. This makes more sense going forward, especially if Swagger takes the pin and Ziggler blames him (rightly) for costing the title. The only problem is, these guys were tossed in at the last minute and have nothing to do with the storyline. It seems more likely that they're here just to ensure this match isn't heel vs. heel. But still, I'm picking a face to win, and Morrison is above the US title (or should be) so I say they give it to Riley. Although the All-American American United States Champion has a nice ring to it.
Prediction: Alex Riley defeats Jack Swagger, Vickie Guerrero ends up aligned with Swagger... or maybe Swagger wins instead

Intercontinental Championship: Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes (c)
Rhodes has been good as champion and it doesn't make sense for him to lose the title yet unless he's getting a main event push soon. I could see him feuding with Orton, champion or not, since they've been setting it up. However, his whole angle of legitimizing the IC belt is kind of undermined if he loses it to Ted DiBiase. Don't get me wrong, DiBiase isn't as bad as his record would suggest, not by far, but he's not really over. I don't think he's ready for the IC title. That said, for the sake of the feud he should win cheaply.
Prediction: Ted DiBiase wins by disqualification when Cody Rhodes is caught using his mask

WWE Championship: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio (c)
I went into this assuming I'd predict almost all heels to win, including this match, but now I'm not so sure. On the one hand, it's John Cena. The guy never loses (except to CM Punk), and in storyline context is seems unlikely Del Rio can beat him. Plus, Del Rio has only had the belt for a short time, it's his first reign, and they're about to go on a tour of his home country of Mexico. Del Rio should retain here, but if Cena winning means Mark Henry wins his match, I'm OK with it.
Prediction: The match ends in a DQ or countout, with Del Rio outsmarting Cena to retain the title (and possibly with Ricardo getting involved)

CM Punk vs. Triple H (no disqualification)
The only non-title match of the night is such an obvious no-brainer that I'll no doubt be wrong. The moment Triple H added the no DQ stipulation and CM Punk countered by adding the "if Triple H loses, he quits as COO" stipulation, it seemed obvious what would happen: Kevin Nash (and possibly John Laurinitis) would interfere and cost Triple H the match in some kind of power grab. Normally I'd pick against something so obvious, but the entire internet took the opposite approach and figured the COO stipulation meant Triple H would definitely win, and the internet is wrong about everything so I'm sticking with my gut. Sure, Triple H has only been COO for a short time, but there are a number of ways they could go with this. Personally I'd like to see him just refuse to quit because he got cheated. I mean, what are they gonna do about it? But that would probably never happen.
Prediction: CM Punk wins after interference by Kevin Nash

World Heavyweight Championship: Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton (c)
The fact that this is being billed as the main event tells me that Mark Henry just might win. He's been in the company for 15 years and never held a top title. He's been fantastic for months now, both in terms of promos and in the ring. (OK, he still sucks in the ring, but they've done an excellent job of hiding it.) He absolutely deserves a title and unless there's some unclear finish, this is liable to be his last shot. It will likely be a short reign, but like I said, he deserves it.

On the other hand, there are a lot of factors going against him. First, Henry has looked great against Big Show, Kane, and Sheamus because they are brawlers. Orton can brawl, but he's not nearly as big as those guys and that sort of match wouldn't really work. Which tells me this match won't be as good as his previous ones, and I think WWE knows it. Do they want Orton to lose the title in a crappy match? Orton also has a reputation for halting pushes, which I tend to doubt the importance of... but he did go 5-1 against Christian with only the DQ loss. Orton is super over and Mark Henry really seems like he can't possibly last very long at the height he's at. Plus everyone (except me) loves the RKO so we have to see one, and I don't see Mark Henry being the guy who kicks out of that. But like I said, this is probably his last chance, so I say they pull the trigger.
Prediction: Mark Henry wins cleanly with several World's Strongest Slams and splashes

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There is no Mythril Sword in Elfheim
Night of Champions Results – September 19, 2011 12:22 AM (edited 9/18/11 10:47 PM)
Talraen (2373 posts) Doesn't Play with Others
Rating: Not Rated
I think I'll update this as the night goes on.

WWE Tag Team Championship: Air Boom (c) defeats Awesome Truth by DQ
Well I'm 1/1 so far! The ref blew three calls against Awesome Truth (a face team with a fake tag?! Say it ain't so!), and the Miz finally blew up and pushed the ref, causing a DQ. I am totally OK with this outcome, especially since Air Boom was not only wearing matching tights, they were wearing garish matching tights. Now that's a tag team! If they get some other heel teams out there, Miz and R-Truth are probably better off outside the tag title picture anyway.

Intercontinental Championship: Cody Rhodes (c) defeats Ted DiBiase by pinfall
The ending was pretty close to what I predicted, but it's DiBiase that almost got DQd for using the mask, after he ripped it off Cody's face. Rhodes retained, but DiBiase looked pretty good in defeat. Maybe Cody will finally ditch the mask, since Ted stole it? Doubtful, but it would be cool. The mask is sort of silly at this point.

United States Championship: Dolph Ziggler (c) defeats John Morrison by pinfall
They actually teased both Riley pinning Swagger and Swagger winning, not to mention both Swagger and Ziggler winning at the same time via submission. I had nightmarish visions of the two being forced to work together as co-champions a la Jericho and Chyna, but fortunately it didn't come to pass. Instead, Swagger had the match well in hand and Ziggler took an opportunistic shot to get the pinfall. Which is very much in character for Ziggler, actually. A bit surprised that we still haven't seen a single championship change hands, but that's a good sign for Mark Henry.

World Heavyweight Championship: Mark Henry defeats Randy Orton (c) by pinfall
...and it took two World's Strongest Slams and a pair of splashes. Can I call 'em or what? Absolutely loved the booking of this match, they made Henry look like the monster he's supposed to be. He kept things slow, and Orton did a fantastic job of making it work. I don't really like Orton, but the fact is, he puts on great matches over and over with anyone. Great match, great story, and by god, I'm excited about the rematch from a wrestling perspective. And Mark Henry is involved! Awesome.

Divas Championship: Kelly Kelly (c) defeats Beth Phoenix by pinfall
Well here's one I was completely wrong about. Similar ending to last time with a reversal into a pinning combination. If this makes the Divas of Doom story actually go somewhere, great, but otherwise it makes no sense. (Admittedly, none of their free TV storylines have made sense over the last month, so that shouldn't really come as a surprise.)

WWE Championship: John Cena defeats Alberto Del Rio (c) by submission
Given that only one title had changed hands in all the other title matches, the outcome of this one seemed pretty obvious when it started. Good match, but I still don't really see the point of Cena winning. I don't really have much else to say about this.

Triple H defeats CM Punk by pinfall
I started off so strong, but it all went to hell. This match went about how I expected, with additional interference from conspiracy victims Miz and R-Truth, but the end result was Triple H victorious. This match was kind of a microcosm of the latest storylines - a complete clusterfuck. It could end up cool, but we shall see.

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There is no Mythril Sword in Elfheim
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