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Sluttiness of Programming Languages when Anthropomorphised

Sluttiness of Programming Languages when Anthropomorphised – October 16, 2007 3:49 PM (edited 10/18/07 9:46 AM)
chaoscat (452 posts) Ambassador of Good Will
Rating: Not Rated
Perl is a really slutty girl who's into the way kinky shit, and if you go to a seedy bar looking for that sort of thing, Perl is great

Java is attractive and nice and all, but she goes to church every Sunday, is a bit OCD, and really isn't a lot of fun

php is that blonde bimbo who looks good on your arm but doesn't really have much under the hood

C looks really proper and conservative, but when you get her in bed is an animal

Shell scripting is that tomboy chick who you like hanging out with but would never consider a serious relationship with

Ruby is that hot girl who flirts with everyone but never puts out and goes home alone to cry

Python is that cuddly girl who you kind of have a soft spot for but doesn't really satisfy you in bed

COBOL is the fat chick with the annoying voice and bitchy personality that nobody likes

Fortran is hot if you're into nuns

Lisp is that hot curvy girl who's really into obscure philosophy and just talks over your head all the time, but you like looking at her anyway

SQL is your mom. She's vitally important to you, always there when you need her, and the thought of taking her to bed just makes you twitch and change the subject.

HTML is that social butterfly chick who's always got the hot new clothes and make-up, but is really shallow and doesn't think too much

XML is the heroin addicted aging supermodel trying desperately to hold onto the dream

CSS is that shy girl who's hard to get to know, but gives great head once you're in with her

TCL is the chick you don't really like, but you hang around because you're hoping to score her hot friend

TK is the hot friend

JavaScript is that high strung chick who if you say the wrong thing is going to flip out and break all your stuff

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"Recap, recap, recap, and then, recap" --Cuzzo

Re: Sluttiness of Programming Languages when Anthropomorphised – May 7, 2008 11:49 PM (edited 5/7/08 7:49 PM)
zippy1981 (4 posts) The Wonder Squirrel
Rating: Not Rated
Ok let me add mine. You can feel free to say they suck.

VB6 is that chick you've messed around with in highschool. You thought the sex was good then. Every few years you bump into her, and now the sex just feel nostalgic.

VB.NET is VB6's cousin that you met one time. You just kn ow she's off limits.

C# reminds you of java, but is a bit less stuck up. However, she has an STD or two.

F# is Lisp's best friend, except she was the one that gave C# her STDs.

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